By Dr. John Schinnerer, Host of The Evolved Caveman Podcast
Let’s be honest: A lot of young men today are lost—like “took a wrong turn at puberty and now stranded somewhere between apathy and rage with no Wi-Fi” lost. What we’re witnessing isn’t just teenage angst with Wi-Fi. It’s a full-blown societal gut punch: young men drowning in a cocktail of isolation, apathy, rage, and THC.
We’re talking about a perfect storm made of chronic weed use, school systems that feel like prisons with PowerPoints, social media that punches your self-worth in the face 24/7, and video games that deliver a plate of false heroism with a side dish of racist Discord rants. Toss in a once-in-a-century pandemic, and boom—you’ve got a generation of dudes who are angry, anxious, and alone AF.
Step One: Tune In, Drop Out, Pass the Bong
Let’s start with the elephant in the room—and he’s high. Weed. Marijuana. Mary Jane. Whatever you call it, it’s no longer just about mellowing out to Pink Floyd. For a lot of guys, it’s become the go-to strategy for numbing out from a world that feels overwhelming and unwinnable. The problem? Chronic weed use turns ambition into mush, emotional resilience into vapor, and life goals into “meh, I’ll deal with it after this boss battle.”
Meanwhile, school—once a path to something greater—is now more like an endurance test in irrelevance. I’ve had more young men tell me “I hate reading” than I care to count. Math? “I suck at it.” And honestly, when your textbooks feel like they’re written by AI after a NyQuil bender, who can blame them?
Step Two: Press X to Feel Something
Video games give young men what real life often doesn’t: control, achievement, and community—no deodorant required. They’re safe, predictable, and the only place where failure resets after 10 seconds. Real life? Not so much. And then there’s social media, that digital slot machine of “not-good-enough.” Swipe after swipe of influencers flexing fake lives while you’re eating cold pizza in your boxers at 2 p.m.
Add COVID into the mix and it’s like throwing kerosene on an already smoldering dumpster fire. Isolation went next-level. No prom. No parties. No in-person screw-ups that teach you how to human. Just Zoom fatigue and algorithms feeding you a steady diet of rage, conspiracy, and low-key misogyny.
Relationships: Yeah, Those Are Dying Too
Remember when dating meant awkward high school dances and passing notes in class? Yeah, that’s ancient history. Today, less than half of high school seniors have even been on a date. Friendships are down, loneliness is up, and the only thing rising faster than singlehood is the collective fear of vulnerability and committment.
Marriage? Forget it. The marriage rate has plummeted 54% since 1900. And it’s not just about money. It’s about emotional readiness—or the lack thereof. Communication, vulnerability, compromise…these are muscles you build by actually engaging with people. Not by yelling at Twitch streamers or “debating” strangers on Reddit.
Hell, I’ve seen it firsthand—decades of guys saying, “I’m not good at emotions,” “Therapy’s for women,” “I can’t stand school.” You know what those statements are? Emotional splinters festered into identity.
And for guys without college degrees, the love drought is even worse. Since the ’80s, relationships have dried up twice as fast for them. Somewhere along the line, society told these men, “If you’re not winning in the classroom, you’re not worth much elsewhere either.” The problem is that connection is a foundational pillar of a happy life and we’re failing our young men at readying them for romantic connection.
From Pissed Off to Extremist in 3 Easy Steps
So what happens when you feel useless, unloved, and unseen? You get angry. And instead of looking inward (which, let’s face it, is hard AF), you start pointing fingers.
“It’s women’s fault.”
“It’s the woke agenda.”
“It’s immigrants!”
“It’s pedophiles in pizza joints!”
Enter the alt-right pipeline: a rage-fueled, blame-redirecting vortex of toxic validation that says, “You’re not the problem—*they* are.” It’s not about politics. It’s about purpose, identity, and finally feeling like you belong… even if it’s in a chatroom full of other angry dudes with Pepe memes, neck tattoos and very fragile egos.
What the Hell Do We Do?
We need to stop telling men that feelings are optional and connection is for the weak. This isn’t just a masculinity crisis. It’s a connection crisis. A compassion crisis. A courage crisis.
We need to *man up* in the most evolved way possible—by creating spaces where men can feel things. Where mentors replace influencers. Where emotional intelligence isn’t mocked, but modeled. Where being strong means facing your inner mess, not burying it under biceps or bravado.
Let’s reimagine school so it doesn’t suck the soul out of boys. Let’s redefine success as self-mastery, incremental self-improvement and mutual respect, not domination. Let’s make it okay—hell, heroic—for men to say, “I’m not okay, but I’m working on it.”
Because when men don’t feel seen, society gets mean. Relationships collapse. Democracy teeters. And your kid ends up learning misogynistic life lessons from Andrew Tate and a Mountain Dew-fueled livestream.
The future isn’t about going back to “real men” of the past. It’s about building better humans—men who are whole, connected, and accountable. Humanity precedes masculinity. Let’s start aciting like it rather than stuffing down 2/3rds of our humanity simply to fit in by performing the role of a “real man.”
So yeah, the stakes? Just your life, your relationships, any possiblity of happiness, and the survival of society as we know it. No pressure.
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